Well my intense training has paid off. Starting before Christmas, I’ve been eating everything in sight so that I could be as fluffy as possible on the big day. One of the few times that I not only achieved my goal, but actually surpassed it. All of my pants are tight. Go me. Bon Mardi Gras!
Dying to know how I did it? Ready to embark on your own journey to chubbiness?
Cue the “Rocky” theme music.
Training began in early December with the subtly delicious “Death by Mac-N-Cheese“. Loaded with a full stick of butter, close to 2 pounds of cheese, and topped with Tater-Tots, this mac-n-cheese was a quick start to weight gain. Puts a whole new spin on the idea of 30 minute abs…
Of course I didn’t forget the most important meal of the day. No gain weight fast program worth its salt would skip breakfast. This 24-hour omelet was made a day ahead. The morning of this anti-workout, I simply woke up, walked slowly (expending as few calories as possible) to the kitchen, and popped the omelet in the oven. I laid down right on the kitchen floor (alternately, feel free to return to bed, whichever is more comfortable) while waiting for the ding of the kitchen timer.
Step 3 in the 2 month plan to a new wardrobe was the chocolate dipped peppermints. With its kid friendly construction and bite sized portions, it hardly felt like eating!
My personal favorite exercise was Mother’s Sandwiches. Hot out of the oven, dripping melted cheese, and served on aluminum foil, this is an advanced weight gain technique. (Pace yourself. You can do it!)
Always an advocate of maintaining a well-balanced diet, I didn’t forget to include a healthy dose of sugary goodness. The cupcake phase of the program added much needed whimsy and a sugar high to keep my thighs growing in the right direction.
As with any high intensity training program, increasing your fluid intake is critical. Should you choose to embark on your own weight gain plan, be sure to include at least one of the following every day. You know I sure did.
Gonna fly now…